Could they be any more opposite? In my professional life I’ve loved fulfilling my time as a columnist, teacher, therapist, author and administrator in everything related to death and dying. It’s my passion… taking people from a dark place they think they’ll always be to a space of life where they are truly living again. So how does one Fellow of Thanatology (Google time!) become the inventor, designer and producer of a pacifier cover?
Well, honestly, I’m not sure there’s an easy answer. But in basic terms I listened to myself. And I discovered I’m not just A Grief Therapist because I’m not just A Anything!
I think we, as women and humans, have a tendency to pigeon hole ourselves by self labeling -mom, stay at home wife, teacher, etc. And then we sometimes find ourselves thinking “I want to be more”, “There has to be more”, “Am I really just this?!” And sometimes we struggle with how to be more… mom AND lawyer, mom AND wife, etc.
I went through this, guilty as charged. I was a therapist. And then I was a mom. I had ideas about different things, such as The Keepsie™. I also had ideas of books to author, workshops to provide, pet loss courses to teach, etc. I found myself much more comfortable with these ideas than The Keepsie™. These ideas allowed me to stay in my lane as a therapist. I could plan and move forward with implementing the grief related ideas without a skip in my step. But when it came to taking the steps towards The Keepsie™ I froze. I couldn’t find a label that fit for this. It was out of my realm so I didn’t proceed until I finally approached the concept differently. It took putting on a new set of glasses to sift through my own limitations and get out of my hole. You’d think as a therapist I would have used some of the skills I teach others, but it’s true what they say- you can’t be your own therapist. Finally when I did the change happened!
I’ve always been creative, I’ve always seen the gaps in things and found ways to fill them (side note- I initially wanted Keepsie™, LLC to be “Gap Filler, LLC” because of this talent of mine until my husband made me realize it could have some negative connotations, LOL! Thank goodness for a guy’s perverted mind saving me from the never ending recognition as Gap Filler (ghasp!))
Back on track… I’ve also always been an entrepreneur on some level (author, private practice clinician, creator of memorial services, etc). So, when I finally stepped back and off of my hamster wheel thoughts “How can I possibly do this, I must be crazy, what do I know about inventing anything I’m a therapist and a new mom” I realized this invention of The Keepsie™ pacifier cover was just a different way of me being me. I saw myself differently. I have strengths, qualities, characteristics and a knack for seeing what’s missing and putting something in place so it exists. With my awareness that it was the combination of those features that made up the entire package of myself I could then easily see myself as the inventor of The Keepsie™.
So take a minute and think about yourself.
Now for The Keepsie™ Mom thoughts:
- How do you describe and label yourself?
- How do you unconsciously define yourself?
- Do you think you’ve ever limited yourself due to your own label?
- Have you ever struggled with who you really want to be versus sometimes who you think you are?
- Can you get out of your own way?
- What would your first step need to be?
- What are your qualities, talents, characteristics, strengths and attributes that make you, you?
- Are you open to making yourself more aware that these features are what really makes you who you really are?